The girl on the outside

17 juin 2017

Hey, it's me

Hey, it's me, the girl on the outside. Outside of what, will you ask. Well, I bet you can imagine yourself, standing in a perfect circle with some friends of yours, chatting and laughing. If not, try harder, I'm sure you can. And now, you might ask : "what the hell does it have to do with you ?". At that question, simple and innocent question, I have a quite simple answer : I'm the girl outside the circle, trying to find a breach so I can sneak in, and act ordinary. Because yes, I always wanted to be a part of it. But I'm not, and I won't, because I don't fit in, and I never did.

Why ? Yes, why ? Actually, as you'll see all along the story I'm about to tell you, that answer is not as simple as your last question. It has to do with me, because this time, it's all about me.

Posté par Lily-Chan à 17:44 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]

23 juin 2017

How it started

First, I have to tell you this : I was born on October 5th 1987. Why does it matter ? Well, I love my birth date, because it's all multiples of 5 : 5, 10, 1+9+8+7=25. I've always been fascinated by multiples of 5. If someone ask me to pick a number, it will always be 5, or 10, or 15, or 20, etc. Another exemple, when I listen to music in my car, I put the sound on 10, and when I park the car, I lower it to 5. So that's why you must know when it all began.

I don't have much memories before my 4th year, only some things my mother told me : I cried a lot and she wasn't able to calm me, I never used baby words and began to speak early, and I ran out of school on my first day (yes that's true, I wanted to go home, that's what I said to the adults). I liked to make up stories using my plushies and Barbie dolls (I hated dolls, mostly baby dolls, they made me nervous. I tortured them, like cutting their hairs, throwing them against the wall... But don't worry, I love real babies !).

The first and only thing that comes to my mind when talking about infant school, is my first friend. He's the only person I can remember playing with. It might be weird, but I'd rather talk with my plushies and Barbie dolls than with the other children. I had nothing to say to them, or maybe I didn't know what to say. I loved books too, I had plenty of them, and my mother had to read them over and over, so often that I knew them by heart. I remember my grandmother buying me each weeks little books of fairytales, they were the size of my hand. I was 4 at this time, because my grandparents moved from their house when I was around 5, and the library was not far from their house.

When I was 5, I first met my father and his wife, or maybe I had seen him before but I can only reckon this day when he came home to see me. When he entered, I was playing skipping rope (I couldn't stop jumping and I even went to school without stopping jumping on the way. I never failed, though I was not really talented for others athletic things). After that, I spent Sundays with them, we usually went to my grandparents, and ate at McDonald. One of my cousin was born this year too, but I'll talk about him later.

That's all I can tell before I went to primary school, but that's for the next part !

Posté par Lily-Chan à 13:03 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]